


Five Lives

by borntomkehistory



Series: Angst, Angst, and more angst [3]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-13
Updated: 2017-11-13
Packaged: 2019-02-01 14:20:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12706731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/borntomkehistory/pseuds/borntomkehistory
Summary: I hope to find one another in our new lives, For there is a chance we may not have been reborn together, nor might you not remember me. Or if we are born together, we may not both be human.(Or, the reincarnation AU no one asked for)





	Five Lives

**Author's Note:**

> This is just me experimenting with AUs while I procrastinate on the bigger projects I'm planning to work on. Enjoy!

  

...

  
  
_I._  

 

_The first time I saw you, your eyes sparkled like new spring. We were both professional skaters in our first lives._

_You had shoulder length blonde hair, with a sense of determination I had never seen in another._

_With every look, you gave me I felt my heart skip several beats. That is when I knew that I had to become friend with you._

"Are you going to become friend with me or not?" 

_Your eyes wobbled with hesitation. Almost like no one had ever come to you with such an offer._

"Well?"

Yuri regained his composure, nodding with a sense of awareness. He took hold of Otabek's hand, accepting his offer. 

_And from there on I knew something had changed. From the time I watched you on the ice, until now, I never believed we would ever become acquainted._  

"Otabek?" 

"Yes, Yuri?" 

That night they had shared a balcony, away from the banquet filled with the other skaters. 

The air was crisp with a cool breeze brushing against their skin. Just below them, they looked over the sea of moving cars. 

Yuri and Otabek both held a glass of champagne, their shoulders inches apart from touching. Still, they enjoyed one another's company.

"Do you believe we will be together in another life?" Yuri looked up at the sky. It was clear that night, with the stars staring back at them. 

_At first, I did not understand your question. To think of another life when we just started this one felt irrelevant._

Otabek shared the same gaze in the sky, his mouth pressed into a thin almost downwards frown. 

"I believe so. Why do you ask?" 

Yuri shrugged his shoulders, turning his body around so his back leaned against the rail instead.

"I don't know. I've just been thinking."

Otabek nodded, not feeling too convinced with his answer. His eyebrows were knotted in thought.

"I believe as long as we keep searching we will always find each other." 

_That was the first time I saw a natural smile on your lips. Not one filled with the stress of winning a medal or smiling for the press, but one which felt content._  

"C'mon, let's get back before a drunken Katsudon and Viktor comes searching for us." He joked, leaving his glass on the top of the rail. 

Otabek momentarily watched the younger boy walk ahead of him. With the short time, they have been friends, there were still things he did not know about Yuri. Like what he thought about at times like this when it was only the two of them. 

He set his glass next to the discarded one, kicking himself off the rail.

"You coming?" 

Yuri waited for him by the opened glass doors. The sound pouring out into the airy quietness of the night. 

"Yeah, I'm coming." 

_Then the day I left you, it felt like I was leaving something unfulfilled._  

"Don't you leave me you asshole!"

_I heard your muffled yells in my ear._  

"Yura..." he croaked weakly. With the last bit a strength he had in him, he used it to feel him for the last time. 

His injuries were too severe. Maybe if he was brought into the emergency room earlier, or if he had seen the upcoming truck speeding towards him without their headlights, he would have a chance of survival. 

There were many maybes and what ifs. 

It was a good life, and even if Otabek would be passing before his time, he was glad he had one thing in this life. 

With his vision fading, Otabek mustered up one last smile which did not look like a smile on his bruised and battered lips.

 "Beka, please."

 "Yura..."

  _And I heard your quiet sobs, as everything went white, I felt our souls burst into a universe filled with fallen stars._

  
_II._

 

_In our second lives, we were human, though too far apart in life to become anything more than acquaintances._

"It's your first day, are you excited?"

Two people walked down the quiet corridor, their shoes clicking lightly against the fresh mop floor.

"I can't say I'm not."

 Said the other voice. They paused momentarily in front of one of the many white doors.

_I never thought I would see you again since the chances of us being reborn again in the same life are slim._

The nurse had opened the door, revealing a small white colored room with only a small window above the bed.

 "Hello, Mr. Plisetsky," the nurse greeted the man lying quietly on his bed with the machine beeping next to him.

Otabek's eyes widen. He stepped into the room behind the head nurse, heart-tugging in his chest as if tied to a tightrope.

Could it be him or just a coincidence of the person he knew and this person sharing the same name?

_But it was you. Though in a state much different from the one I left you in, I knew it was you._

Otabek took tentative steps towards the bed, brushing past the head nurse who gave an incredulous expression.

"Do you know him?"

But he didn't answer, only brushing the dull sandy blonde hair from his face, waiting to see those green eyes he longed to see.

"Yes," Otabek told them, "we've met before."

_That is when I discovered terrible news. You could not wake up because of your illness, which meant you could never see me as I see you. But I hoped you could still hear my voice._

A knock on the door. It opened with a small creak. Otabek walked in, with a bedpan in his hands.  

"Good morning, Yura," he smiled, a sad smile.

_I took care of you because I cared about you, not because it was my job. It pained me to see you in such a state, just as it pained me when I discovered I was reborn too late._

One day, Otabek pulled a chair over to the side of the bed, leaning in close as he would usually do.

He took Yuri's wrinkled hand into his own, the feeling no different from what he felt on the day he died. If only he could he and Yuri could be together properly.

In his new life, Otabek was only in his 30s, with a job at the nursing home. At his age, he should be looking for a spouse, start a family. However, the only person he could dare dream of spending his time with was Yuri.

Now old in age, sickly too. Yuri was nearing his 80s and trapped in a comatose state. Supported by the machine beeping beside his ear.

Otabek wondered what he accomplished in his second life, what he saw. With his old eyes, he probably saw parts of the world that Otabek could only dream of seeing.

_In our second life, I had no idea how I felt about you. I just knew I cared. Cared to the point where when you left me I did not know how to move on._

"Good morning," Otabek greeted the nurse standing by the reception desk.

The nurse and receptionist exchanged a look he did not see.

"Otabek," the nurse began. Their demeanor expressing something was wrong or trying to hold something back, "You're being relocated to another room."

His stomach dropped, "What's wrong with Mr. Plisetsky's room?"

A silly question he thought, as he already had an idea of what the answer would be. He just needed to hear it for himself to believe it.

"Mr. Plisetsky passed this morning..."

_It was too soon. I finally found you again and you left me just as quickly. Somehow, it hurts knowing we shared a second life and you died then knowing whether we shared our second life together._

_The pain cut deeper than a knife._

Before his room was cleaned out, and belongings either packed away to his family or thrown out, Otabek lingered around the room.

With the few months they spent together as patient and caretaker, that time felt like an eternity.

His fingers lightly trailed along the dusted dresser, and the frames filled with the discolored pictures from the past.

He picked up one of the frames.

_It cut deeper than the knife I used to end my second life short._

_Because I found out you were happy in yours, with a wife and kids._

 

_III._

 

_In my third life, I was not so lucky. Not reborn as a human, I lived my short life as a flower._

_I saw life from a different perspective as I watched the feet of people walk by as I stayed rooted in the soil._

_And there was never a day when I did not think of you. This life felt like a punishment for the way I ended my life prior, unable to walk or talk, I watched._

_I watched the children's laughter, the blooming romance of new love, even the sight of pets trailing by on their leashes._

_I watched the seasons changed from spring to summer, then to autumn where I felt my lifeline slowly thin, as a life of a flower was not nearly as long as the life of a human._

_Even then, wondering if you made it to a human form, wondering if you still skated as beautifully as you did in our first life together. I never gave up hope of seeing those green eyes._

"Honey, don't run!" Called out a woman who chuckled at the young child's antics.

She wore a long dress with a royal blue sequence, with her hair kept in a neat bun on top of her head. With her sharp green eyes and pale pink lips, she walked with her hands neatly positioned in the front of her outfit.

She wasn't alone. As in front of her, she followed behind an energetic boy who shared the same blonde locks and green eyes as her. The boy grinned from ear to ear, childlike giggles escaping his lips as he ran with his arms spread out.

"Mommy! Look at me! I'm one of those airplanes!" Said the boy. He circled around the bench where the women sat, watching her boy play among himself.

_My life blurred into the familiar white light. I felt my petals wilt and decay._

"That's very good, Yuri. Now be careful so you don't get too dirty." She said, her delicate hands cleaning off the smudge of dirt from his cheeks.

_Content I felt when I heard that name, and when I looked up at your face. You were born into a child in this life. If I could smile I would._

_To know we made it to the same life was enough for me, even if we lived as two different beings._

_I just hoped I would see you again in another life._

  
_IV._

 

_In my fourth life, I was beginning to lose hope of ever seeing you again face to face._

_This time I was reborn as a human, who was born in a time of war. I remember the filthy trenches, the sounds of bodies dropping dead around me, along with the sound of gunfire._

_There was never a time when the sound of gunfire seized or the sound of the men around me shedding tears for the loved ones they left behind._

"I can't do this... I can't do this anymore..." one of the men wept one night when they were all on the move to find a safer location to set up a temporary camp.

His name was Viktor Nikiforov. A young man with a handsome face. He had short silver hair and blue eyes which reminded the other men of the ocean. But even with age and appearance, he was no different from the rest of the men here.

Every man felt helpless and scared, even with the weight of the weapons they carried which were their protection.

_Even with the circumstances, I made short-term friends, as most of them were either killed from enemy fire or died from the diseases they contracted._

"You're Otabek Altin, right?"

Otabek looked up from the gun he was polishing, meeting ocean blue eyes which were no longer distressed but tired.

"Yes. Viktor Nikiforov?"

Viktor plopped down next to the other man, removing the weighted hat from his head. With the rare moments of downtime they received, it was nice to social with the men risking their lives for one another and their country. 

Without exchanging a word, Otabek went back to polishing his gun. With the stress of war, sometimes it was hard to start off a casual conversation.

"I remember you," Viktor spoke, reaching into his pocket to pull out his crumbled pack of cigarettes. 

He offered one that Otabek politely declined.

Otabek understood what he meant. Even if they only met each other from the war they were both skaters in his first life

"Do you miss the ice?"

Viktor's eyes were downcast, his fingers fiddling with the cigarette slowly burning out.

"I do."

_I discovered it was nice to communicate with someone from my first life. We talked about old times each chance we got._

"Viktor, can I ask you something?"

Night had fallen once more, the two friends were lying on their backs. Listening to the sound of nature around them.

"Sure."

_If Viktor could remember who I was, maybe he remembered you as well._

"What was he like after I died?"

Otabek looked up at the star-filled sky. It reminded him of the night he and Yuri were on the balcony.

"A mess," Viktor said. Clenching onto the front of his mud-stained shirt. 

"He was never the same after you died. You meant a lot to him."   

Otabek remained silent. 

"How many lives have you lived, Otabek?"

"Three."

"I lived five."

Neither spoke for a few minutes.

"With each life, we live we forget fragments of our previous ones. It will get easier in each life."

_My heart sunk into my stomach as Viktor's words replayed in my mind like a broken record. If we forget fragments of our previous lives the more lives we lived, could that mean I would one day forget about you?_  

_Could there already be a chance you forgotten about me?_

_I lived this life long. The war was won and I made it out alive, able to go back home. But home felt bitter when I knew you were not going to be waiting for me._

_Despite it all, I died the most peaceful in this life._  

Many years had passed since the war. In front of his house, Otabek sat on the porch in his rocking chair.

He had made it to 84, the longest he had lived in any of his lives. 

From a distance, he watched a familiar figure approach his house. The once vibrant silver hair now a dull gray.

It was Viktor. The only friend Otabek made and kept from this life years after the war. 

"Otabek," Viktor smiled, stopping in front of the small wooden stairs. 

"You made it." 

"Of course I did. Are you ready?"

Otabek nodded, his eyes closing as he continued to rock on the chair. 

_I felt my mind and body slow down. It was finally my time to move on to my next life._

_Viktor stayed with me, as he said he would back on the field when we talked about the possibles of me forgetting about you as we traveled through the stars at distance lengths._

_Unfortunately, I never had the luxury of meeting you this time, as we were not reborn together. My heart was broken for years, but slowly I was able to mend it._

_Then, I was engulfed in white._

  
_V._

 

_In this life, I forgot what color your eyes were._

The school bell ranged, and in a haste, the students collected their belongings.

"Yo, Otabek!"

On the schoolyard, he heard his name. Responding, he saw JJ jogging up towards him with one hand raised in the air. 

"What is it, Jean?" 

Otabek peaked behind him to see Leo and some more of his friends watching their interaction.

"The guys and I wanted to know if you wanted to hang after school." JJ's grin was smug as if he knew Otabek would never say no to him.

"No thanks, I'm busy."

_A wave of deja vu washed over me, but I ignored it._

_This time I was born as an average student who attended high school._

After leaving school, Otabek took the long way home. Stopping to get a sweet bun at the bodega before taking his route along the beach.

_The beaches in each life remained the same as well._

Otabek crumbled up the plastic wrapped in his hands, tossing it into the nearby trash.

Today he decided to hang around the beach while the sun was still out.

_With this new life, I found myself remembering cracked fragments of my first life._

He rolled his pants up and took off his shoes and socks. Taking his first step on the sand that traveled in between his toes.

_I remembered I used to skate._

His book bag was left behind to hang on the rail. Otabek took more steps towards the tide which moved in and out, carrying shells and discarded bottles.

_I remembered how much I loved to DJ._

Otabek knelt down, picking up a small hermit crab that lost its way to the water.

_I remembered driving a motorcycle._

"There you go," Otabek said quietly to himself, he watched the hermit crab scurry back to the sea.

The wind touched his ears. That was the moment when he stood back up and saw a boy staring at him from afar.

_It felt like I was forgetting something._

"You stopped searching for me."

The boy stepped up to him, long blonde hair flying behind him.

"Excuse me?" 

He stopped walking. Staring at Otabek again with piercing green eyes. He was not dressed as a student but was definitely in high school. The boy sported a plain white shirt with black jeans.

_Just by looking into his eyes, everything came back to me. It was you._

Otabek felt his lip quiver. He ran to him, engulfing him in his arms.

_After all these lives, it was finally you._

They both collapsed into the sand, hanging each other with salty tears in their eyes.

"Beka." 

"Yura..."

_Finally, I realized my feelings for you._

Yuri felt strange yet familiar in his arms.

Otabek cried for his lost friend. As pathetic as he felt, he finally had the chance to hold him, to feel his chest rise and fall.

_Through two lives of merely watching you die and live, and one of not seeing you at all, I was beginning to lose hope of ever seeing you again._

Yuri pulled back, looking into his friend's eyes, touching his face with his own pale hand. He himself had to be sure it was really Otabek he was looking at.

_I felt you wipe the tears from my cheeks. If only you knew the lives I had to endure for us to finally be here, together._

"Beka-"

Otabek cut him off, pressing their lips together.

_I loved and love you, Yuri Plisetsky._

_And when we die and if we're not reborn or reborn at two separate beings, I will never forget this feeling._

 

...  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and Kudos are greatly appreciated!


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